I must apologize to those around me.  I have always been one to assume my problems are simply that, my problems.  I remember sitting in the hospital in Akron and the MS word was mentioned.  This jarhead has to admit he broke down.  Why?  I didn’t want to be different, I didn’t want to be a burden on those that I loved.  I had plans for my future and it didn’t have people taking care of me in that plan. 

I have lost it on more than a few occasions since then, sometimes openly,  sometimes waiting until no one else was around to not look weak to those around me.  Yeah most people who I have invited to read this are rolling their eyes right now. 

I took this, as any other issue I have experienced, upon myself not wanting to bother or burden anyone.  I know that hurt some people but please understand it was not done because I didn’t trust or respect you.  It is just how I dealt with it.  I didn’t ignore it, I didn’t surrender to it!  It was a major portion of my daily processing.  What do I feel today?  Any improvements?  How can I hide the symptoms?  It took a considerable amount of energy from me.

I am so sorry for any hurt that I caused, but please rest assured it did not beat me and I am not done.


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