Annual

So, it has almost been a year since I took my life back.  I have made some great strides, but must admit things took a big dip as I started thinking about it.  Sure, I should have been proud of the positives/advances, but I my nature has me discount them, always looking to fix the deficiencies expecting that to take care of the positives.  My health has not declined, figured I better clear that up. 

I feel blessed (did I just say that? I dont know) as I feel better than just a short year ago and exponentially better than the previous two years.  Now when I think back and try to remember when something happened I can’t remember the year.  Most of the symptoms are generally gone.  Then what are you whining about? you ask….

I imagine it is like anyone getting into a fitness program or diet, early on everything is positive, then things slow down.  Admittedly I have been slacking off, asking myself why even try.  No matter what I do I will always be a freak was the major result of every reflection.  My limp is less obvious but I know it’s there.  I rarely trip over steps but when I do it just sucks.  A few other things were going on which I am sure didn’t help matters but in general I was beating myself up pretty good.  I could look at myself and say "stop whining" knowing others have much bigger medical challenges.  I am not slighting what they are facing but this was me wanting to be me, to be normal and I couldn’t find it.

I took a nice long drive and hung out with my biggest support.  I had no intention of talking about it, just relaxing enjoying family.  Somehow we started talking about one topic and stuff just started flowing.  A poorly timed trip since Blue Points weren’t in season yet but it really helped to get me back on track.

 

07.17.2007 – First back/shoulder workout (only half way through as I write this) in over a month.  I had backed (pardon the pun) off due to the shoulder inflammation.  Yes, very early and it could just be a placebo but definite results (hamstrings are crying after the deadlifts). 

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